New Moon

I was reading some reviews on Stephanie Meyer's book 'New Moon" I I found one that I really like. Be warned all ye 'Twilight' fanatics, it's a review on the negatives. Now, I know that there are many people who love the series, but I have to be honest, I did not. This woman almost perfectly describes my feelings on the book. You don't have to read it, and I still love you even if you think the total opposite. Every one sees things differently. But here is my opinion (sort of) of 'New Moon':

Not as good as Twilight having chosen to abandon EVERY element that made it so great but still manages to keep this book afloat with the new mystery and dangers.
Edward leaving wasn't surprising, he kept thinking about it before when Bella was in the hospital and it was a drama and angst inducing twist- it was bound to happen in due time. I just can't believe Bella's self esteem went from feeling occasional envy and remorse due to Edward's perfection to not considering herself worthy of him and constantly reminding herself how unworthy she is- she couldn't consider him lying to her at all! Hey, Meyer, where did the observant, sarcastic Bella go that we grew to know and love? Because this spineless, pathetic shell can't be true- I thought Bella was smarter than that. I actually googled "psychotic" and found "psychotic depression", the symptoms being: suicidal thoughts (Ed's voice itself could qualify), suicide attempts (all of her attempts to hear Ed's voice), audio and or visual hallucination (Ed's voice again and her vision of him before passing out in the ocean), not feeling as you once did when well (hole in chest), aggression (well, she couldn't bring herself to be mad at Edward, even if she forgave him and understood his actions, her subconscious should still be mad), frustration (perhaps her visits to the Cullen home and meadow), and feelings of hopelessness (the entire book, from being upset to aging at the beginning to her woes of the Volturi and Jake at the end). Great, we got ourselves a crazy person (no offense to those actually afflicted with this). Sheesh Bella, get back your old spine then fix it so you can stop embarrassing teenage girls. At least Bella is now certain that Edward loves her.

I know many fans were upset at Edward's scarce appearances and even more upset and even mad with Jake taking his place. Now, I like Jake, he's fun, sweet, loyal, has a temper, fixes automobiles- wait, that's- that's a personality I spy. Whodathunkit. Besides Alice and Carlisle, none of the other characters have displayed a prominent hobby that they do on a regular basis for fun rather than as part of the plot. Though not nearly as perfect as Edward, Jake offers a sorely needed element to Bella's tale: humanity. Jake is a human with all its flaws and gifts- he jokes, he mocks, he fixes motorcycles, he fears, and he loves. Of course is not only human. I just don't understand why he loves Bella, Meyer actually gives a brief second person POV to help us better understand Jake, the only thing it did was make me question his love for Bella even more. She offers him nothing besides a free motorcycle. Poor Jake, forced to love Bella for the sake of plot.

I suspected werewolves when Jake mentioned wolves being sacred to the Quileutes back in Twilight not too mention being Native American with the skin walker legend- it wasn't very surprising (that and I read werewolves in that copyright page). The werewolves added a very homey, nature sort of feel to the story which I enjoyed, I think I would like a tale of Native American werewolf teenage boys more than the Cullens. Though the fact that only boys are werewolves only added more fuel to my fire of "The Twilight Saga is Misogynistic". You can deny it all you like Stephenie Meyer but Alice nor Jane- only two pros- is enough to fight back the tides supporting this. If you're so "anti-human" then why are all the women so desperate, bitter, and clingy, huh?

The Volturi. Now this was cool. It made the dull middle all worth it here. Aro was fun (the only one to be), Jane was too happy-to-serve-and-hurt-people-while-creepily-smiling, you know, those little girls who won't stop creepily smiling, they annoy me. Sadly, the Volturi are basically, your typical baddies who dress in black, act intimidating, and set a time line to force someone's hand and create more drama and tension. Their role as secret keepers makes them unique but... Why must the vampires remain secret from humans? Unlike your typical vampire, Meyer's are not vulnerable to ANYTHING besides another vampire and werewolves and even then they can survive that unless all parts of the torn apart vampire are burned. Why hide? Bad Meyer, she made such an interesting group yet has no good reason for them to exist.

Victoria... geez, why does her desire to kill Bella for vengeance only strengthen my idea that the universe revolves around Bella? It can't be because the Cullens, James, the Volturi, Forks High, and the werewolves are all either out to get her, romantically pursue her, worship her, or protect her when she doesn't deserve it.

Meyer's writing is nothing special but it made Twilight magical and actually made my heart race in the meadow; it possessed a simple and descriptive prose that definitely helped me envision the setting. New Moon's was not as magical but it was still descriptive (certainly better than the robotic Eclipse). The pacing is also strange- Meyer merely wrote the months' names on the pages to show how detached Bella was from her "hopeless" life and then taking so long to tell us of her bonding with Jake. Interesting and effective but dull and slow nonetheless.

My biggest gripe with New Moon is how Bella never grew as a human. She spent all her time holding onto Edward- who DUMPED her- and then clinging to Jake as a life support, then of course abandoning Jake to save her love and then clinging to him even more desperately then Jake. I can pity her but only when Edward (and the other Cullens) return does Bella return to normal. It was pathetic and sickening. Darn it Bella, you're a human girl, ACT LIKE ONE! Another gripe is how New Moon turned into a love triangle (or will turn since that action takes place in the sequel). Meyer has stated that Twilight was meant to be a stand alone novel and it certainly shows. We came for Bella and Edward and now we have this love triangle which I cannot understand. Bella becomes absolutely pathetic and whiny, Jake's love goes unexplained and serves as nothing more than like Paris in Romeo & Juliet, and Edward is seen so seldom it threw the story off balance. The werewolves provided a nature, family, real horror feel, so I enjoyed the book more than an average Edward fan. But trust me reader, it only gets worse!

Prepare yourself for Eclipse which spends the majority of its incredible length too strengthening Bella and Jake and leaving Bella and Edward in the "Too Be Developed if Ever" category. Just stop here for nothing more than a supremely lame love triangle of inexplicable absurdities awaits you- and bad writing

Ok, I'm sorry-wait, no I'm not. That was a fabulous review! I loved it. She expressed so well almost all of my feelings. Except two things, that I will now add. First, I never "loved" Bella, although I did like her in 'Twilight' she was never that great a character. And second, the only other negative that this woman didn't mention is the fact that no matter how he looks, Edward IS NOT younger than Bella. He could be her grandfather! I'm sorry, but that could never work. SO there it is.

Oh, and one more thing, I totally think a book about a tribe of native American werewolf teenagers would be awesome! At least they're partially human. And I really really liked Jake. I would chose him over Edward most definitely. The only thing I didn't like about him was that he is SO in love with Bella. He can do better than that!

Well, I hope you all still love me. Hehe...