Changes

Yesterday I was kind of stressing out a little bit. I have known for a long time that things are changing. And thinking about it all usually excites me. I am an optimistic person, and I usually see the happy side of things. But yesterday it all hit me in a different way.

One of my best friends moved out of her parents house before Easter. She in now leaving around Salt Lake area with her grandma. She is working, is dating an RM, and having a little but of a hard time adjusting. I love her and I MISS her!

My other best friend is going to BYU Hawaii in the Fall. I am SO glad that her plan to leave and start working right after school is not happening. Haha, for my own self at least. I would hate for her to leave sooner than she has to.

Some of my guy friends are thinking about their missions, and it is crazy to think about how soon they will actually be gone! Some of them already are gone. :( It is a wonderful thing of course, but also a sad thing.

And my boy will be nineteen next summer!!! I am so extremely excited for this! And yet I will be so completely sad without him!

So everything is changing. Not for the worse, in fact I think that it is all for the better. But still, I feel a little overwhelmed by it all. I am eighteen. I have been for a few months. I am receiving my YW Recognition this Sunday, which I have been working toward for SO long! I will then soon have to start going to Relief Society. :/ No offence meant to all of the wonderful women who belong to that organization. But most of the women in my ward are old, or in a calling in one of the other organizations. And yet i don't want to stay where I am either. My friend and I have talked about going to the college ward together for the summer, but that probably won't won't happen.

I have to find a job now. I need one so bad right now. I need to save up for my travels, as well as some personal things that I need. I just can't wait to get out of this in-between stage. I don't like it.

So, last night I played some hymns on the piano. Some of my favorites, like 'I Believe in Christ,' 'I Stand All Amazed', 'Where Can I Turn for Peace,' 'Be Still My Soul,' and 'I am a child of God.' They comforted me, and were a good reminder that no matter how much and how many things change, the Lord will never change. He and His Gospel are constant and solid. Then I talked to Jordon on the phone before I went to bed. He reminded me that no matter what I will never be completely on my own. No matter how many friends go away, I will still have my family (haha), and I will always have God. He told me to just make the most of everything as it happens. He also told me to stop being ridiculous and to cheer up because being a teenager isn't that wonderful and there are many better things ahead. Haha, he is right, and I didn't have an argument against that.
And ultimately I do know that I am really excited and happy about all of the changes. As much as I will miss my friends I am happy for them and their adventures. And for my own as well. Life is, for the most part, good. And I really am ready for whatever lies ahead. I just have to have a little melt down once in a while to remind me of it all, and to make sure I don't explode under all of the pressure.

Well I don't know how much sense any of that made. But I fell better! :D :) And the sunshine makes me happy!