This weekend I had the delightful opportunity to hear Elder Jeffery R. Holland speak! Yes, he came in person to our small town, and I was so excited by it. They held a YSA (young single adult) fireside with him as the key speaker. I went to Jordon's after work, and hadn't realized the fireside was Saturday. Because I didn't have any appropriate clothes with me Jordon assumed I would just go home when the time came. But I wanted to stay and go to the fireside! So we went to Walmart and I quickly picked out an entire fireside-appropriate outfit. The only modest skirt I could see, a plain pink top, a slip (because the skirt was a bit thin) and the only decent looking/not-too-expensive shoes I could find.
It was definitely worth it. I felt the spirit SO strongly. I don't imagine that anyone there didn't. We (Jordon, his cousin Dallon and I) got there an hour early and picked a bench three rows away from the pulpit. Each of us thought that he looked directly into our eyes at some point. Personally I am sure he did more than once. Everyone felt like he was talking to them. I felt like crying multiple times, but managed to keep it in. At the end of the meeting we talked about it, and it's clear that everyone was greatly edified and thoroughly uplifted.
There is no way I can tell everything that he said, and what I will say will not leave near the impression that hearing it from him would. He was humorous in a way you don't see in conference, and also VERY powerful and almost harsh at times. He even slammed his fist down once. But I will say a few things. [And very unfortunately I did not have a notebook! When I got home I wrote down what I could remember. Luckily almost everything he said was so striking that it sunk in pretty well]. So here it goes. Not really in the order he said it, but in consistence with my own line of thought.
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He quoted Virgil, and said it more than once, wanting us all to memorize the line."Endure, and save yourself for days of happiness ahead." He spoke a great deal about trials and pain, and about how why in spite of this we should be happy. He very forcefully told us that we are not ever allowed to think, when going through trials, that God does not love us. Coming from him that way I don't think I will ever dare to now! ALL of the prophets have suffered. Many of them suffered huge pain and trials that we will never come near to. The Savior himself suffered more greatly than any of us can come the tiniest bit close to imagining. Suffering is part of the law of sacrifice. We don't offer up lambs anymore obviously. Instead we have been commanded to offer a "broken heart and contrite spirit".
All of our pain and our sorrow is part of the redemption process. And when we feel that we are broken, that our hearts are broken, we need to offer them up to the Lord. We need to go to the Lord and put our trust completely in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6. He said President Monson mentions this scripture very often). And when we offer our broken hearts to the Lord He will give them back to us whole and perfect. Just as the Savior in His resurrection. Elder Holland told us that the Savior literally died of a broken heart. I think I already knew this, but it never really stuck. As he told us about this it was one of the moments where I could barely keep tears from slipping out. It is so beautifully sad and painful to me, to know that my Savior died of a broken heart, after bearing the burden of my pain and sins, and the pain and sins of all those I love.
He stressed that we should never despair if we feel broken and imperfect. God loves broken things. No matter how broken you think you are. Can anyone who understands the atonement (as much as humans can understand) really despair? Is Christ's perfect sacrifice not enough to save us all? The Lord already knows what we are. Every imperfection and lingering pain or regret. He has felt it. And still He has told us that through Him we will be saved if we endure, and remain faithful. And He has promised us that, even though there are times when it doesn't seem possible to us, if we are faithful He will shape us to carry whatever load we are given. And we will be happy. Why do we ever doubt ourselves? We are God's children! He has told us that He will qualify us, and that should be enough for us. We don't have any reason to be afraid.
Elder Holland talked about when Jesus calmed the sea. He was sleeping through a storm that was so bad even expert fishermen were afraid for their lives. He must have been so tired. And after he rebuked the sea, he also rebuked the disciples. How could they think they would drown with the Savior there to protect them? He would never have let them perish and they should have known it. They should have been able to lie down and sleep next to him, and know that all would be well.
He has the power to control wind and waves. He certainly can take care of us.
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Those are the main things I took away from it. He also told us in no uncertain terms that we need to be adults. And that if any of us are on the fence about something that we know we need to do, to just suck it up, quit being afraid, and do it. Missions, marriage, children, or whatever the choice is at our stage of life.
I wish I could completely share the entire experience with all of you, and have you feel what I felt. I want everyone to know what I know from it. I am sorry I fail to communicate effectively. I feel so blessed to have heard from an apostle of the Lord, and I want everyone to feel that blessing. But I can't give away experiences. All I can say is, make sure you are prepared to feel the Spirit at this upcoming conference, and NEVER pass up an opportunity to hear from a living prophet seer and revelator.
<3 Tiffany Alaine
PS I was also lucky enough to hear from him again today at a Stake Conference. Perhaps later I will share some thoughts from that. I could listen to that man speak all day long.
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