Puppy Love

So I am sitting on my couch looking out my window, and it looks like a nice overcast day. I have no reason to go outside and nothing to do today out about town. In fact I need to clean my house, and take care of some other things that require me being at home. But I think I will go out anyways. Maybe to the library or the park. Just because lately I feel like I need to reawaken my enthusiasm for life and for how beautiful everything is. I have been feeling bored and listless.

My baby desire is still there but I have pushed it back with the desire to have a dog instead. I have been looking online at shelter dogs for the past two days, and I want one of these cuties. 

I think it would be so good for me to have a little buddy to hang out with and keep me company. And it would force me to get out of the house everyday, because although sometimes I neglect my own needs I would be sure to see to the well-being of my little doggy. 

Jordon wants one too, though I am sure not as much as I do. On his day off we acted crazy and were out of the house constantly. We went to Walmart and on a whim just bought two house plants. One for and one for me. Then we decided we wanted fish, but learned that there is nowhere in town to get them. Then we decided we wanted a little dog. Luckily the shelter wasn't open, because afterwards Jordon was somewhat rudely informed by our landlady that they wouldn't even tolerate a hamster. Really? Hey at least we asked first lady. 

After that we were struck with the desire to move. Preferably somewhere decent that actually allows small dogs. I still think I want to move after about four months or so. I swear if I can't at least have a dog I am going to go crazy! I need a companion when Jordon is at work. 

The funny thing is, that I have been questioning how wise it is to make a commitment to own a dog for the next 14 years more than I ever question the commitment to have a baby. I am willing to think carefully about whether we can commit the time, money and sacrifices that will come with being a dog owner, but if Jordon said today "let's have a baby" I would probably think about it for a day and then say "heck yes!". Haha! 

Because of this strange attitude I have decided that I have to have a dog first. :D Which means I have to move. Unfortunately (for me not for them) the little guys pictured above probably won't be available in five months. But there are always plenty of cute little animals in need of good homes.

 The only alternatives are smuggling in a hamster

 or carrying my plant to the park with me.

 Somehow I don't think either of those will satisfy me. . . .

Baby Fever.

Photo From:sidebysideblog.blogspot.com

Ok. So I have Baby Fever really bad. And I know I can't have a baby yet, so this blog post is a way to let it out and get over it. Or at least help. :D

Step one. I am confessing! I have had this secret obsession for quite a while and it's only getting worse. I have even outright denied it when Jordon teased me about my favorite names list he found on my laptop. Maybe if I tell him I am baby crazy he will help me get over it. And writing it here may help as well. 

To be honest I started having slight baby fever probably like a year ago. Since then it comes and goes. But for the past probably two months I have had it really bad. Definitely more potent than ever. The prospect of getting married and the realization that I would actually be able to have one probably got it started. And then after I actually was married it got worse. THEN my sister-in-law announced that she is pregnant with Jordon and my first niece/nephew and that probably had the biggest impact. I can't describe how excited I am for this baby, and how much it makes me want my own. 

I see pregnant women and babies everywhere. My new ward is full of them. And I stare as I walk past baby departments in stores. I dream about being a mother all the time. Usually it's a girl, just big enough to sit up. And often times I am being very protective of her. 

But as much as I really want to be a mommy I also know I really DON'T want it. And here's why. Step two of getting over baby fever: talk about why I don't want it.

#1 To be a good mother I have to learn to be a good wife first, and although I am starting to get used to it I haven't gotten the hang of it yet. If I want someone to take care of a husband definitely works. Although that provides a more annoyed than satisfied feeling. And maybe I would feel that way about a baby as well.

#2 I am still a newlywed. This part of my life will never happen again. I want to enjoy it all the way before a child takes it away from us. I love being a family of two. Just me and my boy in our peaceful apartment. <3

#3 I don't even get how insurance works yet, or how to go about figuring out my student loans. I definitely am not ready to handle worrying about all those hospital bills and baby care fees. And although I think we would be able to handle it, I am still learning how to keep the grocery bill at a reasonable number with a husband who thinks money is made to be spent and not saved.

#4 I am not physically ready for it. I don't exercise, and I want to be more active and fit before I get pregnant. I know that I would be able to get back in shape pretty well, but I am still not ready for those kinds of body changes. I fear stretch marks, and changed shoe sizing, and a belly pouch. I don't want to share my body with an infant. And I don't want to go through the work of birthing one either.

#5 I am not mentally or emotionally ready for it. The very idea of pregnancy freaks me out in a way that I can't handle quite yet. I don't feel mature enough to be a mom and make decisions that will affect the health and well-being of a child that is my responsibility. I am not ready to give up what I am now and become also a mother. That can never be undone. I don't trust doctors, especially around here. I am very private, careful, and concerned about my body and it's care. I think birth and pregnancy have been made too medical when they should be more natural, but I am not brave enough to either do things differently or to get over it. Some days I am overwhelmed just by having to do the dishes, cook dinner, and fold laundry. And although I like the idea of being a young mother, I feel too young to be a mother. 

#6 And very importantly: Although I know he would be a great father, Jordon does not think so, is not ready to be, and does not want to be ready to be a dad. I kind of wonder if I could coax him into it. . . . I know he likes babies, and honestly he mentions them quite often, and will occasionally change his set baby name choices. (He only ever has one or two favorites, while I have like ten). I can see him becoming connected with Future Baby when he chooses a name for her. But although I could probably/maybe get him to do it, it wouldn't be fair to him. Not yet.

So those are my reasons not to have a baby. And they seem pretty persuasive for me. Step three I think should probably be to find a friend or relative with a baby and do a little babysitting. Also I think I should just let myself obsess, read pregnancy blogs, research the best pregnancy and baby care books, and add to my Pinterest "baby" board. Maybe it will help satisfy the hunger or burn it out.

So yeah I am crazy. Go ahead and think so, I don't mind. 

Women, what are your baby fever experiences? Am I weird?

As of now. I still really want a baby!

Gettin' Married Tomorrow!

     I don't really know what to say here. I am just so anxious/excited that I have to let it all out somehow, and thought this post probably won't be sufficient for doing that it's a good start.

     I am probably going to help my mother-in-law out with some cupcake making today. Even though I am sure she has it covered, I need something to keep these butterflies in my stomach at bay. Tonight I am checking into a private hotel room for myself. I have to be honest, ever since being a hotel maid I am a whole lot less fond of hotels. But I want to be close to the temple, and not have to rush in the morning. And I could use a little peaceful time (Haha yeah like I'll be feeling peaceful!) by myself. And then I can primp and pretty and try to eat a good breakfast and not have to rush, or feel rushed by anyone.

     This is my last day as a miss. Tomorrow I will turn into a mrs. Dang I hate that title. Miss sounds so much more charming. But I like Jordon's last name, so I am excited about changing mine. I am not really nervous about getting married, or being married. I am not scared to be with Jordon forever, and I am not worried that we won't be. I just know that we are happy together and we love each other, and so right now there is no reason for me to be unhappy.
     But I am nervous about tomorrow. I am worried about everything going smoothly, and I guess I am just nervous because this is that one big day that I have always thought and wondered about and now it's here. I don't know. But I know I am happy.

     I am super excited to live with Jordon. Even though he is a boy. I have decided to let him have the living room mostly to his tastes and keep my girly stuff out, under the condition that I can turn the bedroom as feminine as I please. Of course I am excited for our honeymoon. Is it immature that I feel awkward saying that word? I am just glad we get to escape together alone for a while before heading back to reality. Even if only for three nights. I am not worried about reality though. Even though it will be harder, it will be an adventure together that I am also excited about.

     Anyways. I think I feel better now, so this wasn't a waste of time. (: I had better go get ready to go now though. I probably won't be on here for a while now. So farewell!

    

Photography

     Hello and good Wednesday evening everyone. As many of my posts are, this one is likely to turn out  a little random. Firstly I just realized that I have been blogging since I was 15. And I am still using the same blog. How weird is that? I should go back and read some posts to remember what was worth blogging about at 15.

     I have decided to start participating in my fabulous Aunt Kris' monthly photography club. First of all I love my aunt and I think it would be nice to support her. But most essentially I love taking as well as looking at beautiful photos, and it will give me an excuse to be more creative. I am always looking for excuses to be creative.

     Anyways. That's her button at the top of the page. The photo I used was of my birthday cake from a couple of posts ago. Yes it's a mobile phone picture and the quality isn't the best. But I think it turned out nice and I have been liking it all month so I think it was a good choice. I will try to take a better one next month.

     Maybe I will take one of my bridal bouquet. I finished it two days ago, along with Jordon's boutonniere. Yep I made them both! I am quite pleased with them both. I will post pictures of them soon. I don't know if I will use one for my monthly photo though. Haha. Because my wedding is next month and I am bound to take a photo related to that which will be my favorite. Right? We'll see.

     I am getting married in 9 days. Weird. I am so so SO SO so SOOOOOO SO excited! I'm glad I have so much to keep me busy every day or I would go crazy with anticipation.

     Well I guess I managed to keep this post somewhat fluent. :)

Goodnight!

Sending Invitations

 

I know I have been posting a lot, and that these details don't mean much to anyone but me really, but posting here relaxes me. The picture above is a stack of announcement/invitations I sent out today. Putting these together was actually fun for me. Choose favorite pictures for favorite people, stuff remaining pictures in remaining envelopes. Stick on address stickers and stamps, seal with damp sponge. Yes I typed the addresses onto stickers. It was a pain to figure out and type up, but much quicker than hand-writing. I know it's more formal and nice to hand-write them, but I didn't. Trust me stickers are a good idea. Although I did hand write a few, and that kind of made me wish I would have handwritten all of them because they looked so nice. But I stand by my sticker decision. 

If you get a hand-written one then feel special, because they are rare. :D And I think I have cute handwriting. 

Also, if I missed you are sent you two, I apologize. Keeping all the people and invitations organized is harder than I thought it would be. 

In case you have been in suspense over it, I do have my dress back. It is hanging in my closet wear I can see it whenever I look over (I don't have a closet door). And it is perfect. I LOVE all of the alterations. It fits perfect. And no it didn't cost a fortune. Happy bride! Thank you to Allyse's Bridal and their lovely seamstress and staff.

Jordon and I are going to the Draper Temple tomorrow to recieve our endowments. As mentioned in the last post I am very happy and excited about this. But today I am also really nervous. I hope I don't forget anything, and that there isn't some kind of unexpected crisis. And my nails are painted a dark purple that is ugly and chipped, and every time I look at my hands I feel a little more stressed because I know I need to fix those nails before tomorrow. Yeah, I'm crazy. 

On a more optimistic note I love my temple dress and it's super comfy. :) And it's the kind of style that makes me feel like a pioneer sister. Haha! 

Oh my goodness I am getting so stressed lately. But at the same time I am happy and excited. My life is just crazy right now. My mind is constantly going. Thinking about all the things I need to get done. 

Above all right now I am looking at the mess in my room as I type this thinking about how I need to clean, sort, and pack it all away. Oh and do laundry before tomorrow and make sure I have a really nice outfit ready to wear to the temple.

Pancackes.

     Hello. :) Just a short post to show you a couple of things. #1 I made cinnamon pancakes for breakfast today. :D I also dipped a few apples slices in the batter and fried them up that way. I don't know if most people would like them but I did. Yummy! I want to try it with banana slices next time. They are a little brown because I used half wheat flower and half white.

     And #2 I found this letter in my stuff the other day. It's from my cousin Travis, who has been one of my great friends since we were tiny.. Haha! Good times. 

Don't want to go to bed.

Hello. It's late and I'm a bit tired. But I feel like I haven't really done anything useful today so I can't go to bed yet. Silly yes. I am just going to ramble a bit about some randomness. :D

       1st of all I took these pictures with my phone and edited them on the computer. I am a bit addicted to makeup (I have to stay away from the makeup aisle or I WILL buy something), and I am very addicted to lipstick. I have a lot of lipstick, but I always want more. Lip-gloss is nice too. At first I would just gravitate towards bright colors. I still do mostly, after a job interview where I realized I had nothing appropriate for my lips I went and bought a pink lipstick (in the picture). I realized it was quite lovely, and since then have acquired a few more pinks and neutral peachy shades.

      Number 2. Online shopping is dangerous. I have learned not to browse, because then I just feel sad when I have to force self-control on myself.

     3rd. I suck at studying. I have a test tomorrow that I haven't studied for enough. Oh well. I am a pretty good test taker. Unless it's math. I am bad at anything at all math-ish. I am also really good at procrastinating. That's a weakness I am working on.

     4th. My boyfriend has been posting some very nerd videos on youtube lately. And I actually really like watching them . . . Yeah. 

     Number 5. I <3 fall. Pumpkins, orange, harvest, spice, . . . . All Fall related things have been going to my head lately, because I can feel Fall drawing closer and it excites me. I actually bought a lipstick (thus the lipstick musing above) called "pumpkin pie" because of the name. I like the color of course, but if it had been named something different it's likely I would have picked another shade.

     6. I thought there was a number 6 but now I can't think of what it might have been. I guess that's a sign that it really is time for bed. :) 

Goodnight.

<3 Tiffany Alaine

Lipstick

Lipstick on my face. Yeah I know I am crazy. I think I am a pretty good photographer though. :D I think it would be fun to do a photo-shoot of someone else. Especially if I got to do their makeup and such.

Eye Makeup

     I did my makeup cool so I decided to take pictures of it. I know there are a lot of them, but I like eyes and I think they are good pictures so I decided to post them all!

Beginning of July.

 Hello everyone. :) I have a lot of pictures today. First of all the above is a picture of my mothers grandparents, Nephi and Elaine. It was their 70th anniversary about a week ago, and we went to the party. Aren't they lovely?

I took this sitting on the grass outside the church (where the party took place). It's hard to get a good picture of Cody, because he usually runs from the camera, or does something like this. I kind of like it though.

After we helped clean up we went to my grandpa's house and lit fireworks with Uncle Trenton and Aunt Mel. They came all the way from California! This is Chey with their little boy. 

 Cody and Kota. And iPod.

 My neon orange nails. It's a pretty bright color even for me. Which is why I love it. Unfortunately I have a flip-flop tan from Lake Powell. I hate tanning and I HATE tan-lines! I used an entire bottle of sunscreen, but there is just no avoiding getting burned out on that lake. At least not on a wave-runner, and not when you are as white as me. I do actually tan more easily than burn, which is good. But I try to protect my whiteness.

 Me. I think my camera did pretty well in the dark. I just used auto mode because I haven't figured out the night mode yet. Every time I use it the photos are really bad.

This picture of a firework is pretty cool I think. I made a cool edited version that I posted on Facebook.

For the actual 4th of July wore blue and white clothes and amazing blue and silver makeup. You can't really tell what it looked like from the picture, but oh well. I went to Jordon's house where his family was having a bbq. I ate yummy venison kabobs. Then his family and relative went to watch the fireworks. But Jordon, his cousin Dallon and I decided to stay and watch them from his roof. We could see fireworks from like 5 different places.
Yes I did spend the 4th with my boyfriend and his family and not with my own. But they had good food, haha. Jk. But he is going to be leaving soon (Hopefully. If he can finally get his papers all in.) And then I will be doing everything with my family. Except going to England, which I will be doing with my fabulous friend Kai! As long as Aunt Kris doesn't mind. :D

Well time for homework!

<3 you all!

Some Things That I Like

     Hey everyone! I just want to post a few random things. First of all as you probably saw on my Facebook (if you are my friend) I gave myself winged cat eye liner today. I have always liked winged eyeliner, but for some reason I haven't ever done it on myself. Well yesterday when I was at Jordon's house and was wearing heavier eyeliner than usual he told me that sometime for fun I should wear "egyptian" eyeliner. So today I tried it. I will of course have to do it sometime when I am actually going to see Jordon, so he can see it properly. But anyways I wore it with gold eyeshadow and some red lip gloss and I really liked it. :)

Cat Eyes

     Also here is my nerdy little robot necklace that I have been wearing the last few days. Yes I admit that I am a little bit of a nerd. I love my little robot.

Little Robot

      I also like nerds. Which explains this next picture. I love him too. Even more than the robot. :D I just really like this picture for some reason. And just in case he reads this: Jordon, hi! Yep I stole your picture and posted it on my blog. What a girl thing to do right? So what!

Jordon at Yosemite

      Just wait until I have a camera. I will be posting tons of pictures!

     Oh and I have to speak on Sunday, and wasn't given a topic. I am having a hard time knowing where to start to start. And I almost just put wear instead of where. ???

     Have a happy week people!

JewelMint

Hey everyone! So I am a jewelry addict, and when this new jewelry "club" started to get popular and I heard about it caught my attention. I am clearly not rich, and I am usually good at controling myself. But sometimes the temptation is just too much and I splurge. I signed up for this club, and took the style quiz, with every intention of just looking and satisfying my curiosity. Well that lasted about a day, until I got an email with a 50%-off-of-first-item code. And I gave in and bought one of my favorite items.

The website is called JewelMint. You sign up for free, and don't pay anything until you actually make your first purchase. After that each month you have five days to cancel that month before they charge $30. Or if you see some things you like you can let them charge you, and then redeem it any time that month for whatever piece you choose.

***You can also earn credits by inviting friends to join. :) So, yes, here is my personal invite link. You definitely do not have to. But if you're going to join please use this link: http://jmnt.me/muORVF

The pictures are my favorites for this month in my own personal "showroom". They choose items for you based on the quiz, but you can add more to it if you don't fall in love with what's there. And as you favorite and purchase things it learns more about your preference so that in the future you get more things your style. The ring is the Borgia Ring and the earrings are the Rio Bravo Earrings. I bought the earrings, and am excited for them to get here.

:)

Fun Weekend

     Hello everyone. :) Just a quick update. First of all after a week in Yosemite my boyfriend is home, and we spent a lovely Memorial Day together. A long weekend with no work for either of us was just too good to pass up. So we drove up to SL and spent the day goofing off in stores and playing at Boondocks. We won enough tickets to buy two giant pixistix, two fun dips, two tiny rainbow erasers, and a Chinese finger trap. Yep, we are pretty much awesome.

     We took these fabulous pictures with our phones. He is squinting, but I still like the picture. By the way I need to buy a camera. Does anyone have any recommendations? I want something small but good.

Jordon mini golfing

Myself mini golfing

     After all of this we ate at Burger King and headed back to our small town to hang out at Jordon's house for a while. And he gave me this cute bear key chain from Yosemite. It's arms and legs move. :D He has one too.

     Well that's how my holiday went. It was just nice to be out with my boy. How did your weekend go?

     Oh and PS, I got the job. I am now a hotel maid. Actually I think it's a motel? What's the difference? Yeah I know, it's such a glamorous job.


     Anyways, it's lunch time for me now!

Smile!

     I found this picture and it made me laugh. Just a reminder to smile everyone :)