Philippians 4:6-7

For the past while I have struggled with my spiritual well-being. Becoming a wife and a mother just took it out of me. I know that sounds terrible. But I have just been so mentally and physically tired, and I haven't made the effort that it takes to keep my spirit healthy.

Well over the Summer I decided to work on that. I still need a lot of work. I have to develop good habits again, and fall off the wagon frequently. But I can feel that I have made that turning point that I have so long known I needed to reach. Because now I am really trying. 

For example; I actually made myself a prayer rock. Everyone things they are just for primary kids. But I have become so bad that I genuinely have a hard time remembering to pray. And the prayer
rock works. :)

Also, because it's no longer a habit, scripture reading can become hard and tedious. So sad! I know that inside of me is a passion and love for the scriptures, and it saddens me that I don't feel that fire like I used to. And it's hard to find time to really study and get into it with a mobile baby boy.

So I have taken to carrying the Ensign and a highlighter around with me. I have been reading the latest General Conference edition. I just read it as much as I can throughout the day. Tristan has gotten to it a few times, so it looks pretty sad now. And I find this has really helped me to get re-accustomed to reading God's word. It's a good starting point, and technically it's modern scripture. I have done that enough that I have started to crave it before my usual reading (latest novel: Watership Down).

And while I was looking for a good scripture to put on my prayer rock, I stumbled onto this one completely accidentally. For right now it's my favorite scripture, and I can't get it out of my head.

" Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." phil.4:6-7

• The Joseph Smith translation changes the word "careful" for "afflicted". It means to let go of the things that are worrying you, because you can put it all in God's hands and trust that He has everything under control.
• I also love that it says to make requests with thanksgiving. We don't have to pray only to give thanks, but when we ask for things we need we should put the two together and have gratitude in our hearts towards God for all we already have, and for His ear listening to receive our prayer.
• Then He grants us peace. Peace beyond mortal logic. The peace only He can give. Sometimes our answers come slowly, or in unexpected ways, but we can still have the peace of Christ upon us to calm our minds and our hearts through whatever comes our way.

Isn't that beautiful? Ponder that as you face the days ahead and I know for sure things will turn out better. 

15 DAYS!!!!!

     I am getting married in 15 days. Two weeks from tomorrow. I can't even tell you how excited I am! It's gotten to the point where I am a little overwhelmed that things pretty much need to be finished, but also where I am just so ready for it to finally get here and happen that I just think however things work out is good enough to me.

     I got temple reccommend signed by the Stake President today. I was nervous before the interview, but talking to him made me feel really good, and even more excited to go to the temple than I already was. It also calmed some of the "maybe I'm not ready" nerves. Just to make it clear though, I am ready. And so happy.

     Now this is going to seem like I change in subject but just stay with me and you'll get it (hopefully). Jordon and I watched Season of the Witch the other night. His choice not mine. It was a creepy, gross, depressing movie. Lots of grim lighting and corrupted priests, and black plague. And of course witches. And it got me thinking a lot about the witch trials, which got me thinking about the dark ages, which got me thinking about the Apostasy. The movie is obviously a graphic and dramatic and unrealistic depiction of it all, but really it got me thinking about how happy I am to be born in this time instead of that one, and with the knowledge of Christ and His church.

     The Stake President talked to me about the detail and beauty of the temple. And then reminded me that the real beauty of the temple is that all of the priesthood keys have been restored, and in the temple we are able to receive the blessings from them. Life is so confusing, I don't know what I would do without the anchor of my Heavenly Father and the gospel. I love feeling the Spirit, and I never want to lose that.

     I hope no ones thinks it inappropriate of me to draw spiritual conclusions off of a PG-13 thriller/sci-fi movie. :) But this is my blog, and I am being honest.

     Can't wait for those 15 days to be over! But don't worry, I will wait. ;)  :D

Fireside - Elder Holland

     This weekend I had the delightful opportunity to hear Elder Jeffery R. Holland speak! Yes, he came in person to our small town, and I was so excited by it. They held a YSA (young single adult) fireside with him as the key speaker. I went to Jordon's after work, and hadn't realized the fireside was Saturday. Because I didn't have any appropriate clothes with me Jordon assumed I would just go home when the time came. But I wanted to stay and go to the fireside! So we went to Walmart and I quickly picked out an entire fireside-appropriate outfit. The only modest skirt I could see, a plain pink top, a slip (because the skirt was a bit thin) and the only decent looking/not-too-expensive shoes I could find.

     It was definitely worth it. I felt the spirit SO strongly. I don't imagine that anyone there didn't. We (Jordon, his cousin Dallon and I) got there an hour early and picked a bench three rows away from the pulpit. Each of us thought that he looked directly into our eyes at some point. Personally I am sure he did more than once. Everyone felt like he was talking to them. I felt like crying multiple times, but managed to keep it in. At the end of the meeting we talked about it, and it's clear that everyone was greatly edified and thoroughly uplifted.

     There is no way I can tell everything that he said, and what I will say will not leave near the impression that hearing it from him would. He was humorous in a way you don't see in conference, and also VERY powerful and almost harsh at times. He even slammed his fist down once. But I will say a few things. [And very unfortunately I did not have a notebook! When I got home I wrote down what I could remember. Luckily almost everything he said was so striking that it sunk in pretty well]. So here it goes. Not really in the order he said it, but in consistence with my own line of thought.

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      He quoted Virgil, and said it more than once, wanting us all to memorize the line."Endure, and save yourself for days of happiness ahead." He spoke a great deal about trials and pain, and about how why in spite of this we should be happy. He very forcefully told us that we are not ever allowed to think, when going through trials, that God does not love us. Coming from him that way I don't think I will ever dare to now! ALL of the prophets have suffered. Many of them suffered huge pain and trials that we will never come near to. The Savior himself suffered more greatly than any of us can come the tiniest bit close to imagining. Suffering is part of the law of sacrifice. We don't offer up lambs anymore obviously. Instead we have been commanded to offer a "broken heart and contrite spirit".

     All of our pain and our sorrow is part of the redemption process. And when we feel that we are broken, that our hearts are broken, we need to offer them up to the Lord. We need to go to the Lord and put our trust completely in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6. He said President Monson mentions this scripture very often). And when we offer our broken hearts to the Lord He will give them back to us whole and perfect. Just as the Savior in His resurrection. Elder Holland told us that the Savior literally died of a broken heart. I think I already knew this, but it never really stuck. As he told us about this it was one of the moments where I could barely keep tears from slipping out. It is so beautifully sad and painful to me, to know that my Savior died of a broken heart, after bearing the burden of my pain and sins, and the pain and sins of all those I love.

     He stressed that we should never despair if we feel broken and imperfect. God loves broken things. No matter how broken you think you are. Can anyone who understands the atonement (as much as humans can understand) really despair? Is Christ's perfect sacrifice not enough to save us all? The Lord already knows what we are. Every imperfection and lingering pain or regret. He has felt it. And still He has told us that through Him we will be saved if we endure, and remain faithful. And He has promised us that, even though there are times when it doesn't seem possible to us, if we are faithful He will shape us to carry whatever load we are given. And we will be happy. Why do we ever doubt ourselves? We are God's children! He has told us that He will qualify us, and that should be enough for us. We don't have any reason to be afraid.
     Elder Holland talked about when Jesus calmed the sea. He was sleeping through a storm that was so bad even expert fishermen were afraid for their lives. He must have been so tired. And after he rebuked the sea, he also rebuked the disciples. How could they think they would drown with the Savior there to protect them? He would never have let them perish and they should have known it. They should have been able to lie down and sleep next to him, and know that all would be well.

     He has the power to control wind and waves. He certainly can take care of us. 

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Those are the main things I took away from it. He also told us in no uncertain terms that we need to be adults. And that if any of us are on the fence about something that we know we need to do, to just suck it up, quit being afraid, and do it. Missions, marriage, children, or whatever the choice is at our stage of life.

     I wish I could completely share the entire experience with all of you, and have you feel what I felt. I want everyone to know what I know from it. I am sorry I fail to communicate effectively. I feel so blessed to have heard from an apostle of the Lord, and I want everyone to feel that blessing. But I can't give away experiences. All I can say is, make sure you are prepared to feel the Spirit at this upcoming conference, and NEVER pass up an opportunity to hear from a living prophet seer and revelator. 

<3 Tiffany Alaine



PS I was also lucky enough to hear from him again today at a Stake Conference. Perhaps later I will share some thoughts from that. I could listen to that man speak all day long.

Alma 47, 48 & 49

(I decided to split my post in to two halves. So here is the second. See last post for the entire thing. Or don't, because each half stands fine on it's own.

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     Now I am just going to share some thoughts from what I read today. I had a lot of thoughts, but there are only a couple particular ones that I want to share.

     Alma 47. Amalickiah, the very wicked ex-Nephite (right?) is very sneakely getting control of the Lamanite kingdom.

• The first obvious lesson from this chapter is, that evil is very persistent. We must always be on our guard, and pray for strength to fight it. 
• And the devil "poisons by degrees" (vs 18). He is subtle. He is like Amalickah. He flatters, he lies, he tries the same thing over and over until you break, he acts like he's your friend when he is your enemy. In short, he is very dangerous.

•      In order to be safe from him, we must do as Moroni did in chapters 48 and 49. We need to fortify! Build walls, dig trenches, send backup to the weakest areas. OR pray and read scriptures, go to church and write a journal, work on talents you do have and ask the Lord to help you develop the spiritual gifts that you want/need but don't have. 

     One more thought. In 47:6 and in 49:13 it mentions something about the determination of the Lamanties. But each time it is for a very different reason. In the first the were determined that they would not be forced to go against the Nephites, and in the second the were determined that they would destroy the city of Noah and the Nephites there.
     There is something interesting there about human nature. Humans tend to be very stubborn. We think we know what we want and then basically swear to die before ever changing our minds.

• However #1, if you let him Satan can sway even the most determined into doing exactly the opposite of what they had intended.

• And #2, you can be determined for good or for evil and it is completely your choice. But you had better know why you are so determined and think about the consequences, both good and bad. Remember to be humble and willing to let God strengthen you when you are right and teach and correct you when you are wrong or do not fully understand.

     Well I hope I have effectively communicated what I have meant to. Enjoy my novel and have a wonderful day! Whether you already are or you aren't, go pray and read your scriptures and I promise it will be better. :)

I (heart) the scriptures.

     The scriptures are amazing. On days when I feel like despairing there is nothing that is better for me than deciding to read my scriptures.
     On such days I will usually sit there with the book in my lap for some minutes before actually opening it to read. It's like if I open it I am resolving to try and be better and happier; and that takes some effort when in a miserable state of mind. After I finally open it I at first read a bit halfheartedly and don't fully understand anything I am reading. Especially if it has been a while since I have read.

     However, after about ten minutes something miraculous happens. Even if the words still aren't completely sinking in, I suddenly feel at peace. Even on the days when I think it is impossible to feel that peace, I feel it. As soon as this dawns on me I start putting in a little more effort. I pull out a scripture marker, and maybe even a notebook. After about twenty-five minutes or more I am actually enjoying what I read. I am marking things, writing notes, and drawing parallels all over the place. And when I am done I don't just feel peaceful, I feel refreshed and strengthened. 

     I don't mean to make is sound like reading the scriptures is always a struggle for me. On happier days it comes easy and just fills me to the brim. On hard days it does take more effort. When you are not feeling spiritual then trying to do anything that is spiritual always takes effort. You have to convert yourself from one mindset to the other. From worldly cares to higher thoughts. And when you are willing to show the Lord that you are trying then He will open up to you and give you more than you imagined you could even receive.
     Oh yes, and no matter what mood I am in I always pray before I read my scriptures. Whether it is long or short I know it helps. Because of course they go hand in hand. I pray for understanding and a desire to read and learn, and to love the scriptures.

     What I am trying to say is: The scriptures are amazing. And I don't know why I ever have to think twice before turning to them. Human weakness really doesn't make any sense.


<3 Tiffany Alaine

To be continued in next post.

Enduring Faith in Christ

Yes, I have been getting a lot out of my scriptures the last few days. I am close to the end of the B.O.M right now (and towards the end of the OT in the Bible). Anyways, I just wanted to share a lovely verse I found. :)
I was reading in Moroni, chapters 1,2, and 3. There is really quite a lot in these little chapters if you look for it, but I will share just a little bit of what I got from it.
I really liked 3:3 " . . . I ordain you to be a teacher, to preach repentance and remission of sins through Jesus Christ, by the endurance of faith on his name to the end. Amen." First of all, it is a good scripture about the priesthood and teaching. But what I like most about it is that it gives a nice view of repentance. "remission of sins through Jesus Christ, by the endurance of faith on his name to the end." Obviously repentance comes through Christ, but also through faith on him! And to the end!
So basically, for a remission of sins we need an enduring faith in Christ.

If we believe in God it gives us a hope of better things, hope comes of faith, faith gives us a trust in the Lord, this trust casts out fear and dismay by increasing our faith, and this leads to happiness and a "rest of the Lord"! These are my thoughts all put together after reading a bunch of verses. Those verses are - Moroni 3:3, Ether 12:4, Proverbs 3:5&6, Joshua 1:9, Alma 32:21, D&C 123:17, Isaiah 41:10, Moroni 7:3, and the memory of a talk by president Uchtdorf and plenty of scriptures that make it clear to me that faith and fear can not exist together. Including, Matt 8:26, Mark 4:40, Moroni 8:16
If you need some spiritual uplifting I would recommend reading those scriptures.

One last thing! I promise it will be short!
Moroni 6:4 " . . . keep them continually watchful unto prayer, relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who is the author and finisher of their faith." Christ is the source of our faith, and it can only endure through him. What else can we rely on in this ever-changing world? We can only rely on the gospel.

My Tips for Scripture Study

On Sunday one of the speakers in Sacrament meeting gave a talk about scripture study. To be honest I was trying to pay attention, but it didn't all really sink in. But yesterday I was inspired by a great friend to become a little bit more passionate about the gospel than I have lately been. After all, there aren't too many people in the world who are blessed with such amazing truth as I have. As I read mu scriptures this morning I actually started to think of my own scripture study "tips". I wrote them down. So here are some of my observations that can hopefully help some of you in your own effort to become closer to the gospel. (no they are not in any specific order, I just wrote them down as they came to me).

• Study and Ponder - I do think that just reading the Book of Mormon or the Bible all the way through is good in it's way. It helps you gain a big picture and get the consistent "story" of it all. But always at least have some kind of highlighter, or even better a notebook and pen, with you so that you are ready to highlight things that jump out at you and be ready to write down impressions of the Spirit. Sometimes he will only tell you once, and he won't be willing to give you more unless you are ready to receive it.

So take time to STOP AND PONDER what you are reading.

• Pray First - First of all, pray for understanding. Because yeah, the scriptures can be hard to understand sometimes. And this idea is one that I remember from Sunday- Think of a question, and ask it in your prayer. Then as you read you can look for answers to that question. For example, what is my purpose? What goals should I be working toward at this time in my life? What does repentance mean? Or something specific to your own problems and/or circumstances.
• Have a pen and paper with you, and MARK THINGS - I already said a little about this, but I'll say it again. The Spirit will be more willing to give you knowledge if he knows you are open and ready to receive it, and WRITE IT DOWN. And yes, mark things! Write in the margins of your scriptures! It is more than a book, it is a study guide to life, so use it that way. You will get more out of it. Oh yeah, and put the date on it each time you write. It can become a kind of journal. Two birds with one stone, yeah!
• Don't count time - This is something that I have discovered helps me. Don't sit down and think, "ok, I think I'll study for 10 minutes". There is no need to watch the clock. There is no specific amount of time you need to read for. The important thing is that you get something out of it. So sit down with your pen and paper, and see what wonderful things you can find! If you are thinking about time, you won't be focused on what you should be focusing on.
• Use study guides - If you are doing fine without them then sure that's great. But I personally feel that they really help, especially if you are having a hard time focusing, or knowing where to start. I have started to use 'Preach my Gospel' at least sometimes when I study. But make sure you actually actively read it, do the exercises, and look up the scriptures(even if part of it is quoted in the text). And mark things in the guide as well as the scriptures. You can also use a gospel principles book, or a seminary study guide (even if you aren't in seminary. My mom likes to use them sometimes), or whatever else you can find.
• Read out loud - It can be hard to focus sometimes. I know that there are many times when I am just reading, and then suddenly realize that I am getting nothing out of it, and don't even really know what I am reading about. It helps me to read aloud. That way my brain is processing it through using my mouth to say the words, as well as my ears to hear the words, plus my mind thinking the words as I read.
• Make yourself do it - We shouldn't have to do this of course, but for everyone there are times when you just do not want to do it. And I find that the longer I go without reading my scriptures the less and less I actually want to do it. So just MAKE YOURSELF sit down for at least a few minutes and read them. If you have to treat it like a chore then so be it. Just do it enough that it turns into a habit. Set an alarm into your phone, post notes all around reminding you to do it, or whatever you have to do. But just do it! And after a while you won't have to make yourself.
• Carry them with you - Of course you don't have to, but if you are on the go a lot, or find it hard to make time for reading (and who doesn't?) then any spare moment is better than nothing. I carry a mini one with me in my purse(you can get a mini b.o.m for $4 at the distribution center). So if you are stuck somewhere waiting for someone, on the bus, out and about and stopped for lunch . . take it out and read a little.
• Save your notes and read them - You know that cute little notebook that you bought for your scripture study notes? Well don't just leave it laying in your scripture bag for next time you read. If you have a problem and you are praying for an answer, get your notes and read through them, and maybe you will be struck by something written there. Maybe you can add to what you already have and gain a little more understanding of what you were studying earlier (remember "line upon line, precept upon precept"), take the notebook with you to conferences, to church, to firesides, on vacation, or wherever you may go. Always be ready to write in it, or at least have it with you in case you need it to receive a little spiritual enlightenment.
• Pray pray pray!- This time I don't just mean before you read your scriptures. I mean at the beginning of the day when you tumble out of bed, or in the middle of the day, or at the end of the day. Or all three! Pray for meekness, and understanding to aid you in seeking and finding knowledge as you read. And also for the Spirit to be with you to call the knowledge from your mind at times when you need it throughout your day. And definitely, pray that your love of the scriptures and willingness to study them will increase, especially if you are struggling with it. Pray for an increase in testimony. "Seek and ye shall find", I know to be absolutely true.

Follow these tips, or at least some of them, and find your own ways to get the most out of your studies. I know without a doubt that God is real, and that the scriptures are true. And I know that if you make your best effort to make them a part of you life that you will be blessed beyond what you even thought you could. Life is hard, no matter who you are, and without the Lord's guidance in our lives we can't make it. We CAN NOT make it on our own. And why would we want to? God is always there to help us, and he want to help. So why not let Him? Personally I am SO grateful to have an all powerful, loving, perfect Father in Heaven to help me out whenever I want to call on Him. That is such an amazing blessing! I just want to do everything I can to be closer to Him, and pay him back just a teeny tiny bit for all He has done and continues to do for me.

Our Refined Heavenly Home

I just wanted to tell everyone to read this. It is absolutely wonderful and so worth your time! I don't know what we would do without prophets to remind us of these things. We would be so lost.

Our Refined Heavenly Home

Do not limit yourselves

"I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the 'highest place of honor' in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.

"One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others."

"Womanhood: The Highest Place of Honor," Ensign, May 2000, 96

D.O.T.S!

I went to relief society for the first time today. It was a little weird. But the ladies are nice, even if they aren't anything close to my age, and it is nice to know that we always have the gospel in common, if nothing else. We were given a bookmark and a little baggie of Dots candies (which I love by the way), and reminded to Depend On The Savior. :) I thought that was really cute. And now I have another reason to love one of my favorite candies.

Just one more thing that I wanted to share. This is something I heard at Stake Conference a few week ago. I don't really know where it originally came from, but I like it:)

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit's power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made -- I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless plans, chintzy living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my way is narrow, my way rough, my companion few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I can not be bought, compromised, detoured lured away, turned back, diluted or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifices, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work until He stops me. And, when He comes for His Own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.

Romans 1:16

Oh yeah, and, my wonderful friend Nannie (yes, that's the gorgeous girl in the picture above) is GONE!!! :( I will miss her. But I am happy for her.

The Power of God's Love

Yes I have been thinking about love a lot. That's kind of funny since Valentines day is coming up. :) Well one time I stumbled upon a quote that I really liked. It goes like this:

"Trying to find lasting love without obeying God is like trying to quench thirst by drinking from an empty cup—you can go through the motions, but the thirst remains."
John H. Groberg - 2004 Oct. Gen. Conf

I have applied it to my own life in a few instances, just as I have done today. When going through hard times it is really good to be reminded that God is the source of all love, and that he will never fail. Therefore, true love will never fail.

I decided to look up the entire talk today, and I love it. I would recommend reading the entire talk. Here are a few of my favorite parts:

"What is it about true love that touches every heart? Why does the simple phrase "I love you" evoke such universal joy?

Men give various reasons, but the real reason is that every person who comes to earth is a spirit son or daughter of God. Since all love emanates from God, we are born with the capacity and the desire to love and to be loved. One of the strongest connections we have with our premortal life is how much our Father and Jesus loved us and how much we loved Them. Even though a veil was drawn over our memory, whenever we sense true love, it awakens a longing that cannot be denied.

Responding to true love is part of our very being. We innately desire to reconnect here with the love we felt there. Only as we feel God's love and fill our hearts with His love can we be truly happy."

"When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us."

Isn't that wonderful?!
I have been writing in my journal almost every day, and I really think it has opened up doors of inspiration for me. Including this one. When you are ready to receive revelation it comes. I know that that is true. I have been more clear minded, and have had questions answered. And when I am feeling discouraged and I just go and put all of my thoughts down in my journal it helps me organize my craziness, and suddenly I feel much better and more ready to handle life. So please: Keep a journal!
This website really helps me. Of course I have a hard time being persistent sometimes, but I have found that I really like doing it this way. When I am already on the computer doing whatever, it is easy to use. ldsjournal.com
But find whatever works for you, and just do it. Even if you just carry around a little notebook and write down thoughts whenever they come to you. I promise you'll be blessed for it. :D

Sweet eighteen!

Yep! I am eighteen years old. I am so old! I don't feel much different, other than I suddenly feel all of this pressure to figure out what comes next in life, and making sure I get it done successfully. But I know that all I can do is do my best, and trust the Lord to help me. :) I just have to remember to remain calm, and stay cheerful.
Quite honestly, it just feels really good to know that I am eighteen. That I have hit that mark. I have made it through eighteen years of living in this world! And I'm still doing fine.

My mom made me a memory book with note and pictures from my friends and family. I love it. It is the perfect gift for an 18th birthday. My Aunt Kris (love you!) wrote this scripture with her note to me. And it is one of my favorites now!
"I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your heart, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." ~ D&C 84:88

~ Music ~

I am listening to some really beautiful music right now! Lovely music is one of the best things for us I think. It can speak to us like nothing else. I have been listening to a lot of peaceful music lately. Especially piano music. Piano is amazing. I am so glad I decided to learn it, and even more glad that there are people ten times better than me or more to create beautiful music for me to enjoy! I have a lot of friends that are musically talented. Most of them much more talented than me. It makes me kinda jealous, but I admire them.
Choir has been fun lately too, although kind of challenging much of the time. Our teacher expects us to do our best, and he gets frustrated when we aren't doing it right. The songs we are singing are all really great, but kind of hard. There is one really pretty one that is written in Latin. It's fun.

When I am mad or upset sometimes I listen to loudish music. When I am energetic I listen to fun upbeat music. When I feel peaceful and inspired, or when want to feel that way, I listen to soft flowing music. And, of course, when I want to chase something out of my mind, I sing or or play or listen to a hymn.
Of course, as with everything, there is a bad side to music. There is music that harms us, or even just distracts us. But if we avoid that kind then music becomes something wonderful. I think of the times when I am feeling things that can't be expained with words. When I am in a beautiful place, when I am with people I love and I can feel the love they all have, when I am feeling grateful for things I have been blessed with, or when I am just happy to be alive. Those things that you simply can not communicate merely through our simple language, I think to some extent you can communicate through music. I like to think that those feelings hint at our divine nature, so of course our finite selves can't express them. But music is something a little higher, if it is used the right way.
It apeals to our senses and speaks to our souls.
I really like the scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants where the Lord is tlaking to Emma Smith. She has been called to organize the hymn book (that sounds like a cool calling), and this is one things He says to her:

For my soul delighteth in the
song of the heart; yea, the song of
the righteous is a prayer unto me,
and it shall be answered with a
blessing upon their heads.
(Doctrine and Covenants 25:12)

That's a Mastery Scripture actually. It's one that has realy stuck in my mind.

I guess I have said enough, and I can't think of anything else to say anyway. Hehe, just some crazy thoughts from me.
Oh yeah,

Happy Valentines Day! <3
To everyone I love!

ps notice the playlist I posted, those are a few of my favorite pretty songs. :)

Just things....

Ok so it has been a long time since I have posted anything. I can't really sum everything up, but I will try.... =)
First of all, a very late Merry Christmas! It was pretty good for me. I got some nice new art supplies, a green purse, a hula hoop, candy, etc.....
And a late Happy New Year! For New Years Eve I went to visit my mom's family in Orem. It was cool. I got to see Aunt Kris and Uncle Miles, and Uncle Trenton and Aunt Melissa and their beautiful daughter Bailey! I did not go to our multi-stake dance, but I heard that it was not that great, so I am perfectly ok with it now. My New Years resolution is to read the Book of Mormon in Spanish. I have other goals too, but that is the official one.


Last week in YW we had a lesson on having a relationship with our Heavenly Father. It was nice. There are two quotes we read that I liked...

"I would charge you to say again and again to yourselves, ... 'I am a daughter of God' and by so doing begin today to live closer to those ideals which will make you life happier and more fruitful because of an awakened realization of ho you are." ~ Harold B. Lee

"The truth is ... man is a child of God---a god in embryo. ... That man is a child of God is the most important knowledge available to mortals." ~ Marion G. Romney

I especially like the last one. I have pondered myself the fact that knowing we are children of God is the most important thing we can know. If we know that we have no limits. Anything will be possible for us if we really know that, and if we seek the Lord's help in all things.

Last thing I must mention.... Christmas break has been great, but, *sigh*, now it is over. I have to get up early, and I have to ride the stupid, cold bus. It is nice to see my friends almost every day again though. And I am now in the acapella (mixed) choir yay! I'm really glad because I was in a terrible choir. The one for kids who don't care and just need credits to graduate. I don't even care about the credits! But my choir teacher asked me if I would be interested in switching into one of the others. What I said was, "Yes I would like to if I can." What I was thinking was, "YES!!!!" But it was only on the days that I am not there, so now I have to go to school for just one class on the other days. How insane is that! I am wondering if that was a good choice, but it is done now. And I also have an interior design class now. And I switched seminary periods to make it work. So now Megan, and Nathan and Jordon are all in my seminary class. That's cool because I have never had seminary with any of them before.

Now I am ready for summer vacation! Sigh, oh well. Only about five months left. And I can't think of anything else that I can talk about so yeah.... Oh! Except that my YW president put me in charge of New Beginnings so that I can count it towards my Personal Progress. I have to plan the entire thing! SO if any one has ideas to help me with that would be great!

We are all wonderful!

I know I have been posting a lot lately, but I am posting again. This Sunday (today) in Sacrament meeting they made some pretty big changes. The relief society presidency was released and a new one was called. I knew some changes would be made, but I didn't know what, thus, I was in shock when our Young Women's president was called as one of the new counselors in the relief society. I was seriously sitting there with my mouth open for a minute. Then as she bore her testimony I cried of course. I simply was not expecting such a huge change. Because, obviously, this means we will have an entirely new Young Women's presidency.
I accept that this is the Lord's will, and it will be a good thing. But, wow, I don't know how they are going to be able to replace these wonderful women.

Also, in Young Women's, we had a lesson that I really enjoyed. Possibly the last one that our wonderful teacher will teach us =(. We talked about loving ourselves, and loving each other.
It was a great lesson for me, because I have sort of been pondering some of the things we talked about lately. I have been thinking about all of my friends. It is amazing how different, and yet still wonderful every one of them is. I am so grateful for them, and for the people they all are, and the choices they choose to make. They all have vastly different personalities, but each is gifted and fabulous in a way no one else can be. I sometimes think I am boring next to many of them. =) haha, but they seem to love me anyway.
And, I have noticed that the older I get, the more I value righteousness. It is so refreshing to meet someone who loves the Lord, and who holds high standards. Virtuousness is SO important, we cannot even comprehend it. I can see how true it is that when we choose to live the commandments we truly are lights to those around us. A young women or young man who respects themselves and God is to be admired beyond any.
We do not understand how great our worth is, how vast our potential is, and how much our Father in Heaven loves each of us. We should never put ourselves, or others, down. Instead, we need to remember who we are, and remember that every single person, no matter who and what their circumstances, are children of God. I believe that that knowledge is the most powerful that we can ever have. And yet every child can know it. If we truly understand that, our divine potential, nothing is impossible for us. Really, what are our limits? It's like when you stand and look in a mirror with another one behind you. You can see that it goes on endlessly, but there is one thing blocking your view. And that is yourself.

I just want to remind everyone of how wonderful you all are. And let everyone know how grateful I am for my friends and family. I don't know what I would do without them.

"How blessed I am from up above
With God and friends and joy and love.
No money can buy these gifts of mine
I'm a daughter of God, and I'm divine!"

General Conference October 2008

Conference is over, and of course it was wonderful. We had to watch it on our computer, and it kept freezing up. However we managed to catch most of it. But.... =( we missed Elder Holland's talk (cry). But I shall read the entire thing when it comes out in the Ensign, so I'm not tooo sad, although i was at the time as Elder Holland always gives one of my favorite talks.
So, on the the main point. I am just going to express some things that stuck out to me. The entire thing was wonderful, but these are the parts that most impressed me personally. Forgive me if I do not describe everything well, I can't look it up because it's not on the LDS website yet.

#1 - I loved Sister Elaine Dalton's (general Young Women's President) talk. The whole thing was wonderful. But what I loved most about it was how she talked about being virtuous. How we don't realize how much it affects us and those around us. Someone who is virtuous has a confident and good countenance that others notice. They are prepared to face this world, and yet stand strong for what they believe.

#2 - another thing that impressed me was, not a talk, but one of the prayers that was given. I do not remember what one, but I think it was the closing prayer of the second session (anyone feel free to correct me on that). What impressed me was how short it was, and yet powerful. I was preparing myself for another long one, but it was over before I was ready for it to start. The man who gave it said something like "thank you for this conference and the messages we have received. Please help us to do it". And that was it. Wow. If I was asked to give the prayer in General Conference, in front of the entire church, including the prophet and general authorities, I would have thought about it a ton, and organized in my mind what I was going to say. This prayer was an example to me of how I should be. The Lord tells us not to think on things before-hand, but simply to store up in our minds the things that He has taught us, and then when the time comes He will give us what we should say. We do not need to dazzle or impress people, we do not need to be eloquent, or even to think too much about what we should say. We simply need to speak the words that He wants us to speak, and that is enough.

#3 - Of course I loved President Uchtdorf's talk. He spoke of hope. Along with faith, and charity. Hope is what sustains us when we have nothing else to hold on to. When our faith is fading, it strengthens us and keeps us going. And when we have had our faith strengthened our faith gives us charity. Because we want to share the joy of it with others. The one thing that especially struck me was when he said something about how if we could get just one glimpse of the life ahead of us, meaning our Celestial life, we would have a perfect hope, and not any doubt left in our hearts. I think he shared a scripture with it. And he said that fear and faith can not exist in us at the same time. Which makes perfect sense, because they are exact opposites. Christ had perfect faith, and no fear.

#4 - It struck me that the entire conference seemed to have this one theme (along with others). Unity. More than ever we are being told that we need to be one (if we are not one we are not Christ's). Basically we need to build up Zion. ("and the Lord called His people Zion, because they were of one mind and one heart and dwelt in righteousness and there were no poor among them" is that in Moses? It's a scripture mastery so I should know...). An interesting message in these difficult times. We need to prepare. Maybe we have 150 or 70 years left, but maybe we just have 3 or 4. Really nobody knows but God.

#5 and the last thing I am going to mention - as always, I was struck by the power and authority of the Prophet of the Lord. Every conference, with President Hinckley before, and now President Monson, I receive a renewed knowledge that they truly are prophets of God. It is unmistakable to me. The prophet has a countenance that sparkles with personality, humor, knowledge, humility, sincerity. I love to here the prophet speak. When he speaks, everyone listens, and everyone is enlightened. I feel safe when I know that a living prophet of God is here to guide us. No matter how the world goes around us, his guidance is firm and safe. It is the word of the Lord. I know for sure that Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet in that Latter Days.

For all of you who missed it [conference], I encourage you to go to www.lds.org and watch it (it's right on the front page). Or wait for the Ensign and read it. I promise that if you hope to be inspired by it you will be.

Raising the bar

In seminary this year we are studying the New Testament, which I have been enjoying a lot. I just really like reading about the Savior's life. Right now we are focusing on the Sermon on the Mount. One thing that I learned, that I have never really noticed before, is that the sermon is directed to Jesus' disciples and basically to the church members (that means me!). It is more than just basic doctrine, it is higher. The old law is the Law of Moses (aka the ten commandments), but here Jesus introduces a new law, a higher law. He is telling us who already know the basics that it is time to meet a higher standard. The basics are not enough.

Elder Henry B.Eyring said, "One of the dangers of the times we are passing into is that we might be tempted to lower our expectations for ourselves and those young people we serve....We might be tempted to expect less....The Lord has given another signal, clear and powerful. It is that we can expect more, not less, of youth.... In the days ahead, the Lord will raise the spiritual bar again and again. And our youth will rise higher and higher to more than clear that rising expectation." Elder Eyring then referrers to the prophesy found in Joel 2:27-32 and proclaimed that this scripture will be fulfilled by the great youth of the Latter-Days.

The worlds standards have been getting lower and lower. But because of that our standards need to be even higher. The Lord wants us to prepare for His coming. Hard? Yes. Impossible? With His help nothing is impossible.