In a writing mood.

     Hello readers. I just feel like writing so I am giving you a little update. First of all my 20th birthday was last month. So for those of you who didn't know how old I am, there you go. I was actually out of town to get my dress fitted (more on that to come) on my birthday, so I didn't get to spend it with Jordon as I had planned. But after we cam home my mom made me a lemon poppy-seed cake, which is my traditional birthday cake. About a week later Jordon set up a little gathering with his family to celebrate as well, which was really fun. :) 

     I really love Jordon's family a ton, and I already feel like they are my family. They have no idea how much I love them and how much help and strength they give me. <3 

     How does it feel to be 20? Not much different than any other age. Except now I think "Wow and I thought hitting 18 was weird". How did I turn into an adult? I still feel like a little girl. 

     I mentioned getting my dress fitted. They make you give them three weeks to work on it, and I get it back next weekend. I can't describe to anyone who doesn't get it how nervous I feel when I think about my dress now. I have been worried and obsessed over it ever since I left the seamstress. I know she is a professional, but still. What if I regret the way I had her do it? And what if it costs a fortune!?

     One of my bestest friends, Kaileen, came over to the apartment the other day to make some paper flowers with me. She was awesome at it. And we talked Jordon into making just one. He complained the whole time, but seemed to be proud of the resulting flower. :) Then Kai, Jordon, my brother Cody and I spent the day playing video games, watching that new Hugh Jackman movie, eating a lasagna that I made (Heck yes! Jordon got some real food.), and goofing off. Good day.

     The closer the wedding gets the more I want to be with Jordon all the time. I have to be near him, talking to him, Facebook/photo stalking, or frequently texting him all the time. I seriously can't stand being apart from him right now. I am not really sleeping well either, and hardly at all anymore. And I am sort of going crazy I think. I toss around in my little bed thinking about the excellent queen sized one he is sleeping on in our apartment, and knowing that if he was just next to me I would be sleeping fine. And when I talk about him to myself or think about him I always think "husband" instead of boyfriend or fiance. It's totally natural and not forced at all. (: I am so ready to marry him.

     We are going to the temple soon. We chose the Draper Temple for our endowments. Thinking about that is just kind of surreal. I don't know what I am thinking or feeling at all except that I am excited, and happy to have the blessing of the temple in my future.

     Oh by the way my earrings came. The ones from my last post. I love them. :) They are like amazing little green icicles. Haha! I am a jewelry/makeup/girlishness addict. And I love my unique style. Jordon is always commenting about how my hair, makeup or clothes look weird or something, but I know he secretly likes it too.

     I was going to try not to take a nap today so that I would sleep better tonight. But I slept for over an hour after church. Haha! It felt great.

     Oh and I haven't had a job since Halloween. (: Yep. Honestly I really don't want a job. I like not working. Yeah I am lazy. But it makes me feel bad for Jordon, and I know I need a job. :/ The ones I really wanted didn't want me though, and I really don't know where to look. Stupid small town!

     Anyways. I have enjoyed writing this. And I am curious to post it and see if it really is as long as it looks in draft form. :D It probably is. Sorry about that.


UPDATE 2/29/2012: Hello! Just want to mention a follow up post related to the cake photo here. Here it is: http://tiffprincess.blogspot.com/2012/02/photography.html

Read this - - -

"If ever you are tempted to become discouraged or to lose faith, remember those faithful saints who remained true in Kirtland. Hold on a little longer.

You can do this!

You are part of a special generation. You were prepared and preserved to live at this important time in the existence of our beautiful planet earth. You have a Celestial pedigree and therefore have all the necessary talents to make your life an eternal success story. The Lord has blessed you with a testimony of the truth . . . You have felt His influence and witnessed His power. And if you continue to seek Him, He will continue to grant you sacred experiences. It may be hard to see that at times, but hold on a little longer, for "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the hearts of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him and wait for him."

1 Corinthians 2:9

president Deiter F. Uchtdorf

Changes

Yesterday I was kind of stressing out a little bit. I have known for a long time that things are changing. And thinking about it all usually excites me. I am an optimistic person, and I usually see the happy side of things. But yesterday it all hit me in a different way.

One of my best friends moved out of her parents house before Easter. She in now leaving around Salt Lake area with her grandma. She is working, is dating an RM, and having a little but of a hard time adjusting. I love her and I MISS her!

My other best friend is going to BYU Hawaii in the Fall. I am SO glad that her plan to leave and start working right after school is not happening. Haha, for my own self at least. I would hate for her to leave sooner than she has to.

Some of my guy friends are thinking about their missions, and it is crazy to think about how soon they will actually be gone! Some of them already are gone. :( It is a wonderful thing of course, but also a sad thing.

And my boy will be nineteen next summer!!! I am so extremely excited for this! And yet I will be so completely sad without him!

So everything is changing. Not for the worse, in fact I think that it is all for the better. But still, I feel a little overwhelmed by it all. I am eighteen. I have been for a few months. I am receiving my YW Recognition this Sunday, which I have been working toward for SO long! I will then soon have to start going to Relief Society. :/ No offence meant to all of the wonderful women who belong to that organization. But most of the women in my ward are old, or in a calling in one of the other organizations. And yet i don't want to stay where I am either. My friend and I have talked about going to the college ward together for the summer, but that probably won't won't happen.

I have to find a job now. I need one so bad right now. I need to save up for my travels, as well as some personal things that I need. I just can't wait to get out of this in-between stage. I don't like it.

So, last night I played some hymns on the piano. Some of my favorites, like 'I Believe in Christ,' 'I Stand All Amazed', 'Where Can I Turn for Peace,' 'Be Still My Soul,' and 'I am a child of God.' They comforted me, and were a good reminder that no matter how much and how many things change, the Lord will never change. He and His Gospel are constant and solid. Then I talked to Jordon on the phone before I went to bed. He reminded me that no matter what I will never be completely on my own. No matter how many friends go away, I will still have my family (haha), and I will always have God. He told me to just make the most of everything as it happens. He also told me to stop being ridiculous and to cheer up because being a teenager isn't that wonderful and there are many better things ahead. Haha, he is right, and I didn't have an argument against that.
And ultimately I do know that I am really excited and happy about all of the changes. As much as I will miss my friends I am happy for them and their adventures. And for my own as well. Life is, for the most part, good. And I really am ready for whatever lies ahead. I just have to have a little melt down once in a while to remind me of it all, and to make sure I don't explode under all of the pressure.

Well I don't know how much sense any of that made. But I fell better! :D :) And the sunshine makes me happy!

Happy Valentines Day!

It is a beautiful day today! It almost feels like spring! I really can't wait until it's warm enough for me to completely ditch my puffy winter coat.
Yesterday the youth in my ward went to the temple to do baptisms. It's was great of course. It's always a wonderful experience. I especially like to watch some of the younger kids who have never done it, or who haven't done it much. Hehe, I remember my first time. I felt nervous, and paid attention to every single detail, hoping I wouldn't mess anything up. Now I just relax, think of the work that is being done, have a good time with the other teens, and enjoy it. The Manti temple is SO beautiful! Not that all of them aren't. But that is my favorite one.
Then when we got home at about eight, I put on some jeans and headed out the door again. I went to Jordon's house to celebrate the holiday. Jordon's best friend and his girlfriend (who are both my friends too of course) came over too. The boys made us hamburgers and curly fries. After we ate we watched Night at the Museum 2.
And . . . . Jordon gave me these beautiful roses! They are orange because that's my favorite color. Every time I look at them it makes me happy. :) He also gave me a lovely little silver and gold heart necklace. It's prettier and shinier than in the picture. I love it!
So I am feeling pretty content today. Love you all, and hope you're having a great day!

Happy Valentines Day!

The Power of God's Love

Yes I have been thinking about love a lot. That's kind of funny since Valentines day is coming up. :) Well one time I stumbled upon a quote that I really liked. It goes like this:

"Trying to find lasting love without obeying God is like trying to quench thirst by drinking from an empty cup—you can go through the motions, but the thirst remains."
John H. Groberg - 2004 Oct. Gen. Conf

I have applied it to my own life in a few instances, just as I have done today. When going through hard times it is really good to be reminded that God is the source of all love, and that he will never fail. Therefore, true love will never fail.

I decided to look up the entire talk today, and I love it. I would recommend reading the entire talk. Here are a few of my favorite parts:

"What is it about true love that touches every heart? Why does the simple phrase "I love you" evoke such universal joy?

Men give various reasons, but the real reason is that every person who comes to earth is a spirit son or daughter of God. Since all love emanates from God, we are born with the capacity and the desire to love and to be loved. One of the strongest connections we have with our premortal life is how much our Father and Jesus loved us and how much we loved Them. Even though a veil was drawn over our memory, whenever we sense true love, it awakens a longing that cannot be denied.

Responding to true love is part of our very being. We innately desire to reconnect here with the love we felt there. Only as we feel God's love and fill our hearts with His love can we be truly happy."

"When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us."

Isn't that wonderful?!
I have been writing in my journal almost every day, and I really think it has opened up doors of inspiration for me. Including this one. When you are ready to receive revelation it comes. I know that that is true. I have been more clear minded, and have had questions answered. And when I am feeling discouraged and I just go and put all of my thoughts down in my journal it helps me organize my craziness, and suddenly I feel much better and more ready to handle life. So please: Keep a journal!
This website really helps me. Of course I have a hard time being persistent sometimes, but I have found that I really like doing it this way. When I am already on the computer doing whatever, it is easy to use. ldsjournal.com
But find whatever works for you, and just do it. Even if you just carry around a little notebook and write down thoughts whenever they come to you. I promise you'll be blessed for it. :D